Ever miss someone? It could be your old self, someone that’s passed away or someone that is very close to you. All three are pretty tough to go through, I’ve have been in all three of those positions. But today I wanted to talk about Grief, which is mostly about someone passing away. Death is one of those things, no one likes to speak about it but when it does happen, people can’t believe it. It’s almost like everyone hates death because it’s bound to happen sooner or later.
So at the moment I am waiting for bereavement counselling to help me over come my depression, it’s getting better, but then it’s also getting worse. Grief is a weird thing. It comes when you least expect it or when you least want it to. It could be the smallest thing that sets you off like hearing a song, watching a film or just your own thoughts. It doesn’t even have to be crying to grieve over someone, it could be smashing things, shouting or not being able to speak for days on end.
The thing about Grief is, it comes and goes like rain; one moment it’ll be sunny and next it’s grey skies above. But you still have to keep living no matter how hard it may be. Sometimes I ask why didn’t I go? Why did they have to take my twin brother? If I’m honest, he’d probably be doing better job at life than I am, if life was a test I would be getting a U. But no matter what, I know he’d be proud of me, I know he’ll be looking down at me smiling and saying “That girl is such an idiot” And if I am being honest I wouldn’t blame him for doing that. Life should be celebrated after a passing, yet we still mourn and grieve. I wish I had the answers as to why? Why does it hurt so bad? Why does it tear us apart like pieces of paper?
I guess that is the beauty of life….
Till next time, Amber.